Love Note/Out of the Mouths of (Teenage) Babes
November 19th, 2008
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by Ellen Kratka · Filed Under: Caring for your Heart
The other day I was driving with my 18-year-old daughter, and she started laughing loudly after something I said. I asked her why she was laughing.
Her reply was, “I just had an epiphany.”
Wow! I told her I was impressed with her knowledge of that word, that she actually used it in conversation, to which she replied that I must think she’s “dumb”.
Of course I told her, “Not true! I just think you’re at a point in life when you at times exhibits amazing big-girl wisdom and maturity, while at other times you still revert to a little-girl’s type of behavior, like when you scream at me for something I’ve said or done.”
As my daughter exited the car her final words were, “That’s not being a big girl and a little girl; that’s being a smart girl and an angry girl.”
On my way home I realized that I had just been handed another nugget of wisdom. Why isn’t it OK to be both smart AND angry? And what’s wrong with being angry anyway? When my daughter expresses her anger she’s letting off steam so she can be done with the related issue, unlike those “adults” among us who may not be quite so loud but who stew in it and in some cases hold on to a grudge for an entire lifetime. It’s also her way of reminding herself that she’s just given her power away and now she’s taking it back.
Yes, it’s often uncomfortabe to be on the receiving end of those screams of hers, but usually there’s some lesson in it for me, some “mis-take” I need to acknowledge and learn from. Other times it’s an opportunity for me to be in the presence of the emotions of another without taking them on myself. And if I detect the presence of a feeling of guilt, well, perhaps there’s some old limiting belief I possess that’s ready for clearing, which she has just given me the chance to notice and do.
I guess we both had an epiphany that day.
